V6 – Cars Break

How Spicy a Taco We Talkin?

Toyota Tacomas have long been a favorite trucko of mine. If you’ve ever shopped for one, you know the frustration caused by how much a decent used Tacoma costs. You can either pay $33,000 for a 2 year old TRD Off-Road with 75,000 miles or $35,000 for a brand new one; it’s ridiculous. There’s pretty much no reason to go used unless you’re wanting an old beater with 150k+ miles.

One thing surfacing this year that’s even more ridiculous is the price of the TRD Pro version of the Tacoma. It’s supposed to make your tacoma super battle-ready and off-road capable. What they don’t tell you is basically any 4×4 tacoma is 100% equally matched in capability. But that doesn’t sell Fox Shox.

The “base” model 2019 Tacoma SR 4×4 Double Cab has as standard @ $31,000:

Selectable 4×4 w/ 4WD high, 4WD low, and 2WD
Power locks, mirrors, keyless entry
Limited Slip rear diff
Touch screen audio controls with bluetooth, backup cam
Pretty much everything you need

Here’s what the TRD Pro ads, and this is a freakin PHOTO from the Monroney sticker:

And the price jumps to.. wait for it…. $51,000. Whoa, wat? So I’m paying $20,000 for a layer of black paint on my wheels, a shift knob, and LED fog lights? And don’t forget that sweetass fake hood scoop

“Nay, but what of le Foxen Shoxenes!” you say? Ok fine it has some Fox shock absorbers. Ohhh my bad, you’re right! Those must be like, $6,000 each when you buy them separate right? Uhhh, no. Try $879.99 for a set of 4. And yes that’s for the Performance whatever blah blah version that have the all-important reservoir thing which is absolutely necessary to rock crawl over the curb into onto the soccer practice field.

Don’t get me wrong I love Tacomas and I’m probably going to buy one soon. I bought a Taco new in 2013 and I loved that thing. It was fantastic. But there’s no way in hell I’m paying an extra $20,000 for a TRD logo skid plate and some shocks I can just buy and install myself. Yeah it also has an electronic locking rear diff, which, admittedly is totally awesome. But realistically you’re not going anywhere I can’t with my lowly LSD rear diff and non-TRD cat back exhaust ride.

Make sure you pay very close attention to what you’re paying for at the dealer. The only reason to not buy the base SR version is if you want a long bed, in which case spring for the SR5 and get beeped at like crazy with all the extra sensors it has.

Couple things I will miss from the older generation is the 4.0L V6 which has a better torque curve and the backup cam inside the rearview mirror which I thought was done exactly right in the 2013 model.

Happy Taco Shopping!

2018 JK Unlimited: The Suckiest Suck to Ever Suck

I’m a fan of American trucks. We had a 2004 Silverado a while back and it ruled. My dad’s got a pristine condition 1994 K1500 that similarly rules. Chevy trucks are something America has done right for a long time. Fords aren’t all bad, either. Dodges and anything from Fiat Chrysler corp, however needs to take a long look in the mirror, eschew Stewart Smalley, and realize they’re not good enough, smart enough, nor, gosh darn it, do people like them.

Jeeps and Harleys are something America believes it has done right for a long time, but in reality they both have lost their way. At long last Harley Davidson is seeing their plight come to fruition with annual revenue falling drastically in recent years. Could this be a result of refusing to innovate and using 100 year old tech in hopes that their bullet-proof branding will continue to appeal to the younger generation? Probably. What baffles me about Jeep is how much brand equity they have while still producing vehicles that are barely road-legal let alone brimming with quality and performance.

Our contender has 12 miles on it and as we pulled out onto the road we noticed it already has interior panel squeak. A trademark of American vehicles with 75,000 miles or more, but 12? Also what you’ll notice immediately on a JK is the lack of ability to stop, go, or turn. Let’s review these items one by one.

Brakes

The brakes are sufficient for maybe a family sedan or a tiny Toyota truck from the 90’s but on this 5000 lbs pig that’s supposed to be able to tow an additional 3500 lbs?? You’re left squishing the not-responsive stoppers to the floor just hoping you won’t hit the car in front of you in stop and go traffic. Needless to say they need a serious upgrade.

Engine

I liked the idea of the 4.0L straight six they used to put in Cherokees and Wranglers. It paid homage to tractor motors and hinted at low-end torque you wanted from an offroad vehicle. The new 3.5L V6 is ultra meh. I had to open the hood to make sure there were six intake runners and headers on the JK or else I would have thought it was a non-turbo 4cyl. It can’t seem to get out of its own way but on the plus side you’re getting 16 mpg around town. Oh wait, that sucks. It’s the same as my dad’s 1994 Silverado with a 5.7L V8, old-school fuel injection, and significantly more torque than the jeep. Not only does it suck, you could say it’s the suckiest module of suck to ever suck. Listen to Homer’s rendition:

Handling

The steering wheel is a little big, it’s like driving a school bus… or a 1990s full size truck. Also you’ll be delighted to note that when traveling at a speed of greater than 30 mph the wheel is utterly unresponsive. You can fling it back and forth with great glee and not really change direction. This becomes a little worrisome on tight mountain roads with cars coming the other direction.

Rugged-ness

You’d think for being a Jeep this car would be nearly indestructable. For those reading along in fury with the argument of “yeah, but it’s tough!” I give you this:

While traveling somewhat slowly through a shallow mud puddle our hero tore huge gash into the sidewall of the front driver’s side tire. Woot. “But the JK has a full-size spare! You’re covered, bro”. Yeah, I guess except that’s more of a liability than an asset when you actually need to use the thing, which will likely be off-road. Why is that? Well because the jack that comes with the car is barely adequate to lift the car high enough to mount the spare in perfect, sunny, flat conditions let alone any imperfection whatsoever in your driving surface.

I used the stock floor jack to lift the vehicle only to find that there wasn’t enough clearance to fit the full-size spare tire. Great. Now I had to put the flat tire back on because it didn’t need as much space to mount, drive on it a few feet until the jack point would be way above the tire mount point, which need a tire-size ditch to accommodate.

Needless to say, the tires that came with this model are weak-sauce and the jack is nearly completely useless in mounting a spare.

Conclusion

I like American manufactures and I want to like them more, but when you’ve been resting on your laurels for decades you deserve a slap in the face. The JK isn’t bad off highway and the cargo space, simplicity, and fun factor (removable roof and doors) do make up for some of this vehicle’s foibles. I do have to wonder why these things still have top-25 resales value, though. They’re crazy expensive for the value they provide and longevity isn’t in the cards. My brother in law’s JK just blew up TWO motors. One at 16k and one at 500 miles. And that’s without any misuse with nothing but dealer maintenance to boot.

Oh Jeep, I hope you figure it all out. I want to like you more, but as it stands you are indeed one of the suckiest sucks to ever suck.

2016 Dodge: Another Day Another Challenge…er.

When the first Dodge Challenger you drive is the SRT Hellcat it sort of spoils any chance for the other models to make a good impression. However, it doesn’t take an upscale automotive pallet to taste the Burger King quality of the entry level Challenger.

It’s an obvious throwback to 1960’s muscle cars and that’s great for the target market who’s likely buying this car. For most people, however, the Challenger is a behemoth nautical vessel boasting average performance and efficiency with very little room for passengers.

Let’s start with the size. 4000lbs is a bit on the chubby side for a 2+2 vehicle these days and it shows in the city mileage. You’re lucky to get 18 mpg and that’s carrying around a 6.3 second 0-60 number. Hardly what you’d expect from a claimed 305 horsepower. There are Toyota Camry’s on the road right now with a claimed 276 hp that will run a 5.6.

Another downfall of the husky Challenger is visibility. The hood is enormous. I’m sure it provides large amounts of nostalgia for some, but for most it’s a popped tire on a curb or parking lot ding waiting to happen. It’s fairly hard to tell where your giant nose is pointing half the time. The cabin feels a bit like a chopped hot rod’s and zero rear visibility reminds you of that at every blind spot check. Not exactly a safety-mobile.

The dashboard layout overall works well enough and the digital control of car status works well. Most of the buttons, however look silly with their huge font and larger than necessary size. That part feels very “Dodge”.

A couple redeeming factors that really scream ‘Murica are the large, easily accessed cup holders, the range, and ability to run on regular; which all coincidentally reference drinking. The cup holders are even illuminated via some nice LEDs hey! As for range you can go about 450 miles on one tank if you’re on the freeway most of the time. That’s way above average for the 2016 model year, nice job Dodge! Some pretty serious road trip capability there. Nice thing about being somewhat low-tech is being able to run on the cheap stuff. I just filled up for under $30 @ $1.69 per gallon! These are strange times.

If you love the challenger style and can’t be without one do yourself a favor and spring for something with a V8. It doesn’t make it nicer to own on the day to day but at least it will be fast.

2015 GMC Canyon 4×4 Crew Cab: Pacquiao

The Mayweather-Pacquiao fight was arguably the biggest sporting event this year and possibly even decade. Floyd Mayweather is undefeated in professional boxing and Pacquiao isn’t far behind. Both fighters are well into their 30’s and sort of came out of a respite for the big event.

With a few losses on their track record, the good ole boys at GM are similarly making a comeback to smaller-than-full-size trucks. I use that hyphenated description because gone are the days of the compact truck, and midsize trucks are nearing the mass of full-size trucks from 15 years ago.

The Canyon is big. So much so that it felt like I was approaching a Sierra at first glance. This version was a crew cab 4×4 with the 6 ft bed (in midsize trucks this is the longer of the two). The truck felt ample and roomy to my 5’10” frame and is probably a boon to those over 6ft when comparing directly to a Tacoma, the other middleweight in this fight.

What surprised me most about the Canyon was that it didn’t exactly deliver a knockout blow when you stepped on the accelerator. I expected a lot out of a claimed 305 ponies. When you give it the juice, the Canyon wants to tie you up and rest rather than throw a haymaker. Weighing in at 4500 lbs it’s a bit lame that the 1/4 mi time is 15.4 when the only slightly lighter (4200 lbs) Taco is running 14.7 with a claimed 236 hp! The tacoma does indeed feel stronger and even has 500 lbs on the Canyon in towing capacity.

But what about price? Surely GM knows it needs to undercut the Taco in order to make any headway. Well, maybe not. At $36k+, GM makes you wonder why you’d pay that much when for $34k you can get a TRD off-road Tacoma. For $36k the Taco gets a 1.75″ lift and custom exhaust among other cosmetics when you add the TRD Pro package. Plus a cool 110v outlet in the bed and an electronic rear locker!

Although the Canyon has gas struts to lift the hood, auto-down rear window switches, wifi, and lane departure warning, it’s hardly enough dancing to distract from the Tacoma, which had the best resale value of any vehicle last year.

Without making all this sound like a Toyota commercial, I will say that the Canyon overall does feel more plush and comfy. Hat tip to GM as well for the 4 USB ports I found- one in the dash, one in the center console, and two in the rear. If there’s one thing lacking from most modern cars it’s an appreciation for America’s fierce addition to smart phones and tablets. Another fun thought was the volume and radio present buttons located behind the steering wheel! Way cool. They feel like those mountain bike clicky shifters you use your thumbs and index fingers on. Nice touch.

The instruments overall are familiar and easy on the eyes. Although I’m not a big fan of the redundant speedometer. There’s a digital readout in addition to the gauge.

The Tl;dr (which means ‘too long, didn’t read’ for those not up to date on their internet speak) version is that Tacoma wins. Power you can feel, more towing, Mayweather-esque pedigree, and big value. With more power and a couple years’ experience in reliability testing, however, Canyon/Colorado could be a force to be reckoned with.

2014 Camaro RS Convertible: Cheap Thrills

This is a fun one. Not terribly fast, and not as fast as you’d think it would be claiming 300hp, but a jolly good time. A 335i has the same hp rating from the factory but that thing can pull a 5.2 0-60 time. The best you’ll ever see out of one of these is about 6 seconds. For those who are into numbers like that, you know there’s an enormous difference in feel between 5 and 6 seconds to 60. It’s a line in the sand between edging on true performance vs light recreation.

What I liked most about this bang-for-budget ride was the exhaust note. It was satisfyingly raspy and seemed to grow twice as loud above 4000 rpm. I was stuck with the automatic but it didn’t hesitate too much when you romped on the throttle.

My wife and I drove with the top down and the heater on full-blast down highway 1 to Santa Monica in November on a brisk night. Highly recommended. Hard to have that much fun in anything else for the money. Also driving by a group of kids and hearing one say “hey!! that’s bumblebee!!” as another retorts “no it’s not” and finally another – “yeah huh! totally bumblebee!” is some good stuff.